Callin' All Ye Doonians! (and all ye destined fer Doon!)

DESTINED FOR DOON releases this Tuesday!

That’s right. Two days from now I’ll finally have a hardcover copy of Carey Corp and Lorie Langdon’s second novel. Never mind that as a member of the book’s street team I’ve already read it, that the ARC is tucked safely in my cabinet of amazing YA books.

I’m picking up my copy on Tuesday, at Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Cincinnati, where Carey and Lorie will be celebrating the launch. I’ll get my copy of DOON signed by Lorie (because it was already signed by Carey when I bought it). I’ll also have them sign my ARC and my new, oh-so-gorgeous hardcover copy of DESTINED FOR DOON.

If you live in Cincinnati, come join us! If you don’t, stop by your local bookstore and grab a copy. And if you’re worried that you haven’t read the first one, well, buy that, too! They’re both amazing (five of five stars on Goodreads for me!) and well worth the read. After all, who doesn’t like hidden Scottish kingdoms, two girls who have been best friends for years, and two super hot princes? And there’s also magic, a witch, and all kinds of references to musicals (since, ya know, DOON’s based on the musical Brigadoon…though don’t judge the books by that because they’re waaaaay better!).

If you need any more convincing, below are links to my other DOON and DESTINED FOR DOON posts. Happy reading!

the post that started it all

how the authors asked me to be on D4D’s street team

more on how the authors asked me to be on D4D’s street team

Brigadoon and meeting Carey Corp

the second time I read DOON and why I still loved it

why I loved D4D! (and how I read it so fast)

Write On Con

A year ago, I wasn’t on Twitter. I didn’t know of writing contests and had no writer friends (let alone critique partners). I had only a vague idea of how to write a query and those that I had written were lackluster at best. That isn’t to say I hadn’t tried querying agents, because I had; I just sucked at it. (And didn’t know it.)

Then, at the end of last August (almost a year ago now!), I took a Writer’s Digest class where we students worked one-on-one with an agent to craft a good query and synopsis. The first thing the agent did was ask us to watch a PowerPoint of query, synopsis, and general tips. In that slideshow, one of the things the agent emphasized was that unpublished (and published) writers need an online presence. Blog every day, the agent said, tweet every day.

So, knowing that my ultimate dream is to sign with an agent and have a published book, I followed the agent’s advice. I started a blog. I joined Twitter.

And my writing world expanded. That class was my writing Big Bang. I can’t believe all I’ve learned in the last year and how many writing friends I’ve made. I had no idea what I was missing and how much I needed to improve. I’ve queried two novels since that Writer’s Digest class, each teaching me new things and better ways to write and pitch.

I’d thought I’d learned enough. I thought I was ready to begin querying my third manuscript, THE BUTTERFLY GHOST. But I had something more to learn.

A couple of weeks ago, I submitted my query and first chapter for THE BUTTERFLY GHOST to one of my favorite writing contests, Brenda Drake’s Pitch Wars. While waiting on results of the contest, I’ve been stalking the #PitchWars feed on Twitter (where stalking is not only okay, but encouraged). Recently, writers began talking about this thing called WriteOnCon. I had no idea what it was, but decided to check it out.

Turns out, Write On Con is this amazing online writers conference. It’s not a contest, but a forum for writers to share their work and critique that of others. That means not only have I posted my query, first 250 words, and first five pages on the forum, I can read the same things for dozens (hundreds!) of other writers. They help me, I help them, and together we create the best pitches we can so that, hopefully, all of us can someday sign with agents and publish books.

I’ve only been a Write On Con attendee for four days now, but I’ve already spent hours on the forum, reading what others have written and learning ways to improve my pitch. Rumor has it there’s agent involvement in this thing, but at this point I’m so wrapped up in learning, critiquing, revising that the agent thing seems unimportant. That’s not to say I don’t want to sign with an agent, because I do; what I’m really focused on is perfecting (or as close to it as possible) my pitch so that when I’m ready to query, I’ll hopefully catch the attention of some agents.

And to think that a year ago I knew none of this existed. It’s just amazing. I love the online writers world.

P.S. If you're a writer and would like to exchange critiques, my username is tgoeke.

A Full Story

I’m going to preface this post by saying that everything I’m about to say is honest. Maybe too honest. But I want to tell the story and I think it’s something some people might want to hear. So, you know….

Months ago, I was working on a new WIP I’ve since titled THE BUTTERFLY GHOST while querying my (then) latest manuscript, WORLD’S EDGE. I’d entered WORLD’S EDGE into contests and gotten significant feedback from my critique partners. I’d done revisions and more revisions. It was a story about parallel worlds and a girl with a genetic destiny and I loved it.
 

I got some great feedback from a few agents, one of which said she’d love to read more if she didn’t have something similar in her pipeline. A few others sent responses to partial requests saying that they liked my writing, but they didn’t connect with the story itself. Query me with something else sometime, they said.
 

A few days after receiving one such partial rejection, I got an email from an agent asking for my full manuscript. Agent loved my concept and even tweeted about how awesome my pitch was. The catch was that Agent wanted my MS exclusively. I hadn’t been asked this before, so I sent word to my critique partners: What do I do???
 

My CPs suggested I give her the full exclusively. Still feeling dejected after the partial rejections, I followed my CPs’ advice. Full sent. During this time Agent and I chatted back and forth via email and, honestly, I loved Agent. We had things in common, and not just our reading preferences. We joked and I laughed out loud more than once. I was so hopeful. Agent said I’d have an answer in seven weeks.
 

Seven weeks may seem like a long time; when you’re querying a book, however, seven weeks isn’t as big of a deal. Or so I thought. I stopped querying WORLD’S EDGE, knowing I couldn’t give any other agents any pages while Agent had my full exclusively. Instead, I focused on THE BUTTERFLY GHOST.
 

I finished the initial draft of THE BUTTERFLY GHOST. I waited a little while, then went back and made some revisions, then sent it to my CPs. After a few weeks, I got notes back from CPs…and loved what they had to say. Most of their suggestions were minor, easy things to fix with another read-through or two. A few of the larger details would take more time. I got to work.
 

Sometime during this second round of revisions on THE BUTTERFLY GHOST, I had a disturbing thought. It’d been weeks since I’d sent my full to Agent, but I wasn’t really stressing out about Agent’s answer. Instead, I was more interested in working on THE BUTTERFLY GHOST. I shoved the thought aside…which only made room for another. What if, I panicked, Agent wanted to represent WORLD’S EDGE but didn’t like THE BUTTERFLY GHOST? I was falling in love with THE BUTTERFLY GHOST. I was starting to dream of seeing it on a shelf in a bookstore. And I was realizing a few things about WORLD’S EDGE.
 

As much as I thought I loved WORLD’S EDGE, I was beginning to see its flaws. For one, voice. Agents and writers all talk about voice, this elusive quality of narration that makes the main character (or an omniscient narrator) vibrant and real. Did WORLD’S EDGE have voice? I wasn’t sure. But I knew THE BUTTERFLY GHOST did. Also, everyone in the publishing world is concerned about marketability: Will it sell? For WORLD’S EDGE, I wasn’t so sure. But THE BUTTERFLY GHOST?
 

Then came another thought. I’d written WORLD’S EDGE a couple of years ago, before I started to seriously pursue querying, before I knew what I was doing and what it’d take to get there. Since then, I’d revised it…but maybe those revisions didn’t matter. Maybe the concept was good, but my writing wasn’t ready. Maybe I wasn’t ready.
 

Writing THE BUTTERFLY GHOST had been a completely different feeling. I was in over my head, but in a great way—I was always thinking about it even when I was doing other things. I was twisting and turning the plot, taking something that started out so small and making it bigger. I was so consumed by my main character’s voice that sometimes I found myself talking like her. I loved my newest story.
 

So when eight weeks had passed and Agent sent me another email, I wasn’t surprised that it was a rejection. Agent’s explanation was short, but I could read between the lines. I knew what Agent was thinking and why. And (here comes that honesty I mentioned at the start) I wasn’t only okay with Agent’s decision not to represent WORLD’S EDGE, I was also relieved.
 

Because that meant I was free to pursue THE BUTTERFLY GHOST. I could enter it into contests without worrying about what would happen with Agent and WORLD’S EDGE. I could focus on THE BUTTERFLY GHOST’s query and pitch, knowing that, finally, I was ready. And my manuscript was ready.
 

So I’ve submitted my materials to Brenda Drake’s Pitch Wars contest. I’m nervous again, knowing that I have to wait until September 3 to find out if any of the contest’s mentors like THE BUTTERFLY GHOST as much as I do. But it’s a good kind of nervous, one where I think I’ve got a good pitch, a great query, and a book that I love. And maybe someday, depending on how things go, I'll query Agent with THE BUTTERFLY GHOST.

Pitch Wars: Pimp My Bio

I’ve clicked the submit button on my Pitch Wars entry!

Now, here’s more about my MS and why the Pitch Wars mentors should PICK ME!!!

STUFF ABOUT MY MS:

·         THE BUTTERFLY GHOST is a YA thriller with a sci-fi twist. Think Alias meets Fringe…only for teens.

·         Just to be extra clear, my MS is NOT paranormal. Yes, I have the word ghost in my title. But it’s not what you think. Hence the sci-fi twist. After winning a query critique from Michelle Hauck, I worked extensively with her to make sure my query didn’t come off as paranormal. I hope we succeeded.

·         One of my favorite things about YA is the teen romances. So, yeah, I’ve got romance. And a kiss. Just one. And it’s a good one. (Just ask my CPs.)

·         Spies! Who doesn’t love spy stories? I’ve been hooked since Alias, but also loved Chuck and couldn’t get enough of Ally Carter’s Gallagher Girls series. Not that all of my characters are spies. In fact, very few are. And some of those are characters you wouldn’t guess initially.

·         In my query, I call my main character a science geek. (So am I. Are you?) My MC talks about Schrödinger’s cat, g-forces, and black holes. She’s taking chemistry and physics, analyzes the whole ghost (NOT ghost) situation like it’s a science problem, and watches Star Trek with Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine. She likes Through the Wormhole and loves Mythbusters. Also, I love Mythbusters. I was on Mythbusters once (well, sort of):

And speaking of me,

STUFF ABOUT ME:

·         Not that this has anything to do with my MS or Pitch Wars, but my last name is pronounced go + key. Gokey…Goeke. I’ve only had it a little over a year, but I’ve heard so many people say it so many wrong ways.

·         I love cake. No, seriously. This is a perfectly good reason why you should pick me.

·         I read YA. I write YA. I LOVE YA.

·         I graduated from college with a BA in English and a BS in biology and chemistry. When I wasn’t writing or reading, I was studying genetics, biochemistry, and astrophysics. This means I was doubly qualified to write this MS. (Plus, being a science geek, I loved researching those little details I’d forgotten post-college.)

·         I’m a grammar girl. This means if you pick my MS, you aren’t going to run into grammatical errors. We might disagree about commas, but that’s okay. FYI, I’m an Oxford comma girl.

·         I lead a quiet life, which basically means I have ALL THE TIME to work on revisions. I’m dedicated. There’s nothing like a good deadline and the hopes of a dream come true to drive me. I want to make my MS the best it can possibly be. Because I WANT AN AGENT. I WANT A PUBLISHED BOOK. (Well, okay, more than one would be amazing, sublime.)

·         I want this BAD. I’ve been writing since elementary school and I’ve tried querying a couple of other manuscripts, but they weren’t ready and I wasn’t ready. I’M READY NOW. So is THE BUTTERFLY GHOST. So pick me. Pretty please.

Thanks to Dannie Morin for hosting this contestant blog hop! If you want to check out other mentees, go here.

Also, thanks (and so beyond that) to Brenda Drake for hosting Pitch Wars! If you want to read more about the contest, go here.

Pitch Wars Sophomore

Last fall, I participated in Brenda Drake’s Pitch Wars and didn’t get a mentor. This summer, I’m back, armed with a different manuscript and everything I learned last year. (If you want more information on the writing contest, go here.)

What I learned last year:

•        Every writer needs critique partners. Plural. Maybe this is obvious to some people, but when I began looking at the mentor list last year, I had no idea what critique partners were. Yes, I’d lived in a writer bubble for years. I’d only been on Twitter a couple of months and I was basically as clueless as you can get. Good news: I found my critique partners through the contest.

•        You have to know when you and your MS are ready. Last year, I wasn’t ready and neither was my MS. I didn’t know this. I only discovered it through the rejection email from one of my mentors. The mentor was right: I had errant dialogue tags, character flaws, a plot hole, and a desperate need for some kind of adverb-destroying device. Luckily, I had critique partners to help me make my MS better.

•        Choose your mentors very carefully, after days of reflection, blog reading, and Twitter stalking. In the rejection emails I got last year, two of my mentors, though so helpful and positive, told me that my MS wasn’t what they were looking for. If I’d looked closer at their wish lists, if I’d stalked them properly on Twitter, I would have known. I didn’t.

•         A mentor picking you has nothing to do with the odds. It doesn’t matter if the mentor gets ten or a hundred submissions. They’re going to pick the best ones: those they like, those they think the agents will like, and those they believe are the most marketable. Because if the book’s not going to sell, no one’s going to want to represent it.

•        The mentors will tease you like crazy if you follow the contest hashtag on Twitter. Not that they’re teasing you specifically. They’re teasing anyone and everyone. There’s no way around this. They know what kinds of submissions they have and they’re going to tweet as mysteriously as possible. They want to keep you interested, to keep you hoping. Also, they want to have fun. Don’t let it drive you crazy.

•        Big Brother is watching. And everyone else, too. So mind what you say. I’ve taken to deleting any negative tweets before I tweet them. Yes, I still get all nervous and freaked out and feel the desperate need to vent or connect with other writers in similar situations, but I bury those thoughts or save them for blog posts. In blog posts, I take the time to rationalize my thoughts and find the positive spin, thereby (theoretically) negating anything too negative.

•        Not everyone who gets a mentor gets an agent. Similarly, writers who don’t get mentors still get agents. Enough said, yes?

What I’m doing differently this year:

•        It takes a writing community to write a query letter. At this point, I’ve already had three mentors, three mentees, three non-writer friends, and two critique partners look at my query. It’s not quite there, but I’ve still a few days to work on it and at least one more person (a critique partner) who’ll need to read it.
 
• Submissions for Pitch Wars aren’t just query letters; you have to also send your first chapter. So I’ve had three critique partners, two mentees, and one mentor read the beginning of my MS. Three critique partners have also read the rest. I’ve revised, tweaked, and fretted over all the words. It’s not perfect—it may never be perfect—but it’s ready for mentor scrutiny.

•        I’m asking questions. I’m talking to mentors. I’m commenting on their blogs and joining conversations on Twitter. I’m putting my name and my MS out there so they’ll both be recognizable when the mentors get my submission in their hands (or in front of their faces).

•        I’m in this for a mentor, but unlike last year, I don’t have all my hopes pinned on this. With all the awesomeness out there, I know I might not get picked. Which is okay. Because after the contest, I’ll have a great pitch for agents. And ultimately, my goal isn’t to win Pitch Wars; it’s to find an agent and publish a book. (But yeah, I still want a mentor :)

All Souls Signing

It started with a book. This book:

(Which also starts with a book.)

 

Though I’d like to, I can’t say that I loved it right off. The cover didn’t grab me. I’d heard so many people talk about it that I kept picking it up and reading the jacket, but I also kept putting it back down. Witches and vampires? Again? No, but thanks.

Eventually, I moved past the jacket and read the first page. That led to the second page, the third, and…well, I think you get it. I bought the book, took it home, and devoured it. Though the jacket hadn’t been wrong and the book was about witches and vampires, it was a fresh story, told from a different perspective, more realistic (even though, yes, it’s about magic). It was grounded in present, in the world as it is, and even included some genetics (which I studied extensively in college).

By the time I finished the first book, I was more than ready for the second. And after the second, I wanted the third. Of course, books as big as these take time to write, so when THE BOOK OF LIFE released a few weeks ago on July 15, I had to reread the first two books. Not that I’m complaining. I love to reread books I love.

About the time THE BOOK OF LIFE released, a friend sent me a link to Joseph-Beth Booksellers’ Facebook page. Joseph-Beth, Cincinnati’s indie bookstore, would be hosting Deborah Harkness on August 7 for a discussion and book signing. We both loved the books, so of course we were going.

Yesterday afternoon, my friend and I arrived at Joseph-Beth around five. We had some special All Souls drinks and dinner at the café before claiming a couple of seats near a fireplace and a podium. By then, it was six and only a handful of other people were around. A few minutes before seven, the place looked like this:

 

 

If you look closely, you’ll find me in the second row. The room was hot, buzzing with hundreds of voices whispering (or not) about Deborah Harkness and her books. A Joseph-Beth employee announced that Deborah Harkness had arrived and a cheer went through the crowd. Not long after, she came to the podium and began to speak. She told us about the books, read a few pages, and let us ask questions. In no particular order, here are the things I learned about/from Deborah Harkness:

·        She talks like she writes—vividly, intelligently—and it’s easy to see her as a professor, one that students love. She could’ve talked all night and into the morning about these books (or, really, anything else) and I’d have sat there to listen.

·       The idea for the All Souls trilogy came to her when she was standing in an airport in Puerto Vallarta, where there was a display of Twilight books, among many others with vampires, werewolves, demons, angels, fairies, trolls (and yes, she listed all these). She’d done extensive research on the 16th century (I think…but don’t quote me on that), a time when many people would have believed in these extraordinary creatures. What would it be like if those creatures existed in our modern world?

·        Much of the history in the trilogy comes from her research over the last twenty to thirty years.

·        Included in that research? Matthew Roydon, a real historical figure who knew all the people in SHADOW OF NIGHT, worked as a spy for Queen Elizabeth, and was in Prague around 1590/1591. She couldn’t find many more details about Matthew Roydon than that. So when wondering what a vampire might be like, she pictured him. She pulled him out of history and created Matthew Clairmont.

·        No film studio has the rights to the trilogy, so there’s no knowing if they’ll become movies.

·        She doesn’t know what she’ll right next, if she decides to write again. She explained she has many ideas, none of them demanding to be written right now. (Which is what I feel like most of the time.)

·        When writing the trilogy, she worked through the story chronologically. (Which is how I write!)

·        When asked if she, a historian who deals in facts, believes in magic, she quoted Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, and some mathematical principle I don’t remember (sorry, I haven’t had a math class since high school). Basically, her answer was yes.

·        When writing academically, she can only state what can be proven and supported by her research. When writing the All Souls trilogy, she took those unexplained pieces of history and made up her own answers.

After she finished speaking, we 300+ fans lined up to get our books signed. A Joseph-Beth employee with a Post-it pad wrote down each of our names to put in each of our books so that Deborah Harkness could personalize them. Not only that, but she willingly signed each book in the trilogy for anyone that asked. There was even a man who had not just the trilogy, but also her academic works. She signed those, too.

When it came time for my friend and me to greet her, Deborah Harkness welcomed us warmly. A Joseph-Beth employee took our picture:

 

 

And then I asked my question. (If you haven’t read to the end of SHADOW OF NIGHT, this is a spoiler. If you intend to read the books and don’t want to know this, skip to the next paragraph.)  I asked her why she chose to have Emily’s death offstage. I felt her death had less impact because other characters had to tell me it happened. Also, as a writer, I was curious. As for every other question, Deborah Harkness had a prompt, beautifully logical answer. People die all the time with no one there to tell what happened, leaving loved ones with no explanation, no closure, and an aching, lingering loss. She wanted to convey this. That’s why no other characters were there to witness Emily’s death and why it’s never fully explained.

After signing our books, she thanked me for my question and wished me and my friend a good night. Our evening at an end, my friend and I reluctantly trudged to the exit. We’d waited in line for almost an hour and a half, but it was worth. Because the book that started it? It now looks like this:

 

THE ENCHANTED RAINFOREST

If you need a good laugh, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s a story I wrote when I was in fifth grade. My best friend Kricket illustrated it.

Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful princess named Kimberly. She lived in a beautiful castle near the Amazon rainforest. Kimberly had blond hair and dark green eyes. She loved to play outdoors.

One beautiful afternoon, the princess was playing outdoors. She had her beautiful ball, which was bright green. The princess loved to bounce the ball on the sidewalk. Kimberly bounced the ball so high that the bright green ball went up and up until it disappeared.

Later, while the princess wept, the green ball began to fall from the sky. Down it fell, until it hit the leaves of a tree that was in the rainforest. This noise startled the princess. She got up and walked into the dark rainforest. Glancing about, the princess looked for the source of the startling noise. But all the beautiful princess could see was the dark green plants, moss growing on tree trunks, and no blue sky when she looked up. Kimberly walked farther into the forest.

Little did the princess know that deep in the shadows lurked an evil gorilla. The closer the gorilla got to the princess, the more still the forest became. Just as the gorilla was about to leap at the girl, Kimberly spotted her bright green ball. “My ball,” she exclaimed with glee, “my beautiful ball!” This startled the gorilla, but not for long. The gorilla lunged at the girl, grabbed her, and ran deep into the forest.

The gorilla ran and ran until he got to his home. A giant kapok tree loomed in front of the gorilla and Kimberly. It had giant green leaves, big enough for the princess to sit on. Near the kapok tree, there was a beautiful blue stream. Occasionally, a fish would jump out of the water. Near the shore was a large branch with a hole in the side.

Just then, out of the sky, came two black and white toucans.

“What have you got today, Evil?” asked the smallest bird. “

A princess, Fly,” Evil answered.

“Oh, you poor thing!” the other bird, Sky, exclaimed. Fly turned and glared at Sky. The princess had begun to cry.

“Don’t cry, princess,” called a voice from near the stream. The princess looked up and saw a bright green lizard crawling out of the branch by the river. “My name is Speedy,” the lizard announced.

“Come on, princess, let us show you your room,” Sky said.

Slowly, the princess followed Speedy up the tall tree. They climbed up the tree until they reached the biggest leaf on the tree. It was about thirteen feet high in the air and around the outside it was twenty feet.

Meanwhile, in the castle, the king and queen were beginning to worry about their daughter. In fact, they had begun to worry so much that the queen had her lady-in-waiting write a letter to all the other kingdoms in the world. It looked like this:

One sunny afternoon a knight named Sir Patrick received the letter. He decided to set off to find the princess. With his white horse and golden sword, the knight, who lived in England, set off on his trip.

The sun began to rise over the mountains as Speedy climbed the kapok tree to wake Kimberly. Speedy finally got to the giant leaf.

“Kimberly, I will help you run away,” Speedy whispered when he got Kimberly awake, “but we must leave now, before the gorilla awakes.” After the princess agreed, they quietly climbed down the tree.

When they got to the ground, a giant, green leaf floated to the forest floor. The two decided to use it as a boat. Quietly, they put the leaf in the river and got inside. Slowly, the leaf began to float down the river.

The trees became thinner as the leaf floated along. Just as the leaf and its passengers were about to float out of the forest, Evil jumped into the middle of the wide stream to block the leaf’s path.

Not far behind were the two toucans.

“Tell Evil to leave Kimberly and Speedy alone!” yelled Sky.

“No way! I’m not your slave!” Fly yelled back.

“At least, then, you leave them alone! You’re supposed to be my sister! At least…”

Sky was interrupted by Evil.

“Would you two be quiet!” angry Evil screamed in his hoarse voice. Evil picked up the leaf boat and carried it back to the giant kapok tree.

Meanwhile, Sir Patrick’s ship had landed on the continent of South America after two months of nothing but water.

“Thank you, kind people, for bringing me here. I really appreciate it,” Sir Patrick said.

The people nodded. Then they climbed back into the ship and sailed back toward England.

Sir Patrick mounted his horse and rode toward Brazil, where the king lived. On the way Patrick stopped at the Amazon River to let his tired horse get a drink; then Sir Patrick continued his journey.

Meanwhile, back in the forest, Evil had carried the leaf boat back to the kapok tree and had dropped it on the ground.

“Guard them. Make sure they don’t go anywhere,” Evil commanded Fly.

Evil disappeared into the forest.

About an hour later, Evil returned with a vine trailing along behind him. He grabbed the poor princess and began to tie her to the giant kapok tree. Around and around Evil wrapped the vine. Finally, Evil, with the help of Fly, tied the ends of the vine in a knot.

The two disappeared into the forest with Evil carrying both Sky and Speedy with him.

Sir Patrick had arrived at the castle about two days after his ship had landed at South America. He and his horse were tired and hungry, but when they reached the castle, they were given food and a place to rest.

The next day, the knight would go look for the princess. The next day, Sir Patrick set off on his journey to find the princess. As Sir Patrick looked around, he decided to look in the rainforest. He mounted his horse and rode toward the forest. The farther he rode, the darker the forest became.

Suddenly, from far away, Sir Patrick heard the sound of someone crying. He tried to follow the noise, but it seemed to be coming from all directions. After a few minutes, Sir Patrick decided to go straight ahead. The horse walked softly through the forest. The farther they walked, the louder the sound was.

Just then, the horse came out of the dense forest. A blue, bubbling stream was in front of them. To the right was a giant kapok tree. Around the bottom of the trunk of the tree was girl, a beautiful girl, tied to the tree with a vine.

Sir Patrick quickly dismounted his horse and ran to the tree. He untied the vine and set the princess free.

“Oh, thank you!” the princess cried.

They got on Sir Patrick’s horse and rode back to the castle.

They were married and became king and queen. They captured Evil and Fly and put them into the dungeon. Sky and Speedy became Kimberly’s and Patrick’s pets. They lived happily ever after.

The End.

Grammar Girl 2

I’m a grammar girl. I blame this on two things, the first of which is that I had a hundred times more books than friends when I was younger. The second is that throughout high school and college, I took extensive French courses—some of them in France and completely in French—in which I had to know the parts of speech and the proper ways to use them or I’d get bad grades or humiliating French stares.

Because I’m (pretty much) obsessed with grammar, I have grammar pet peeves. Last time, I wrote about the misuse of I and me here. This time, I want to talk about the phrase Where are you at? because, let’s be honest, so many people say it and it’s just SO WRONG.

For all I know, Where are you at? is a regional thing. If you’re reading this post and not from the Midwest like me, you’ll have to let me know if you say this or know people who do. I know people on TV say it, along with my friends, family, coworkers, and random people I pass at the bookstore (among other places). And yes, I’ve caught myself saying it more than once because it’s so common and where’re you at? just flows so nicely.

But it’s still wrong. It’s redundant.

By asking where, there’s no need for that at because you’re just repeating yourself. Both words are asking for a location, so you only need one. Of course, Are you at? isn’t really a sentence, so you’d have to stick with Where are you? and hope that Where are you at? isn’t so ingrained in people’s vocabulary that they still understand you.

So, try it out. Say Where are you? Repeat it three times (or more). If you catch yourself saying the redundant version (like I sometimes do), you can correct yourself (like I do). Not that I expect everyone to be obsessed with grammar like I am. Some people might not care that they’re wasting that extra syllable in redundancy. If that’s you, no worries. Just know that I might cringe when I hear you say it.

But if you’re thinking that I might be crazy, that there’s really nothing wrong with Where are you at?, try other variations of it. Say, Where am I at? Does that feel and sound wrong? It should, because no one says this, or at least I don’t think I’ve heard it before, and it’s just as redundant.

When I’m writing, I’m very careful to use this right…and not just because I don’t like the incorrect version. Yes, many people use it wrong, but I don’t think that makes it okay. My hope is that if I use it correctly, people who read what I’ve written will also use it correctly. Even if I get one person to stop saying Where are you at?, that’d be worth it. Of course, for that to happen, I’ll have to get my stuff out there where more than just my critique partners can read it. I’m working on that.

In the meantime, if you’re wondering where I am, check here:

Okay, maybe I’m not exactly there—downtown Cincinnati at sunset—but I love the picture and wanted an excuse to share it. Thanks for letting me (: