Writing Resolutions

I don’t do New Year’s resolutions. Never have. I’ve never understood why the first day of an arbitrary new year is the one where goals should start. What really makes January first such a special day?

If I decide to set a goal, I do it on the day I realize how badly I need it, whether at end of March or on a midsummer’s night. Almost a year and a half ago, about the beginning of August, I realized that for years I’d pushed aside the biggest dream I’d ever had, the one of becoming a published writer, and on that day I took the first step to making my dream come true.

Of course, it hasn’t happened yet. But I’m still fighting for it. Every day.

And part of fighting for my dream is helping others to achieve the same thing. I’ve made a lot of writer friends over the last year and a half, one which is one of my critique partners. I’m taking a break from reading his latest manuscript to write this blog post because it’s got me thinking.

This manuscript is the third he’s sent me. And the thing is, all the while I’m reading it, I’m hoping that this is the one for him, the manuscript that makes his dreams come true. I’m hoping this is the manuscript that gets him an agent, a publishing deal, a published book.

That’s not to say I didn’t love his first two manuscripts. I did. He did. But no matter how many agents asked to read those other two manuscripts, none of them loved his stories like we did. So, like me, he’s written another story, given himself another shot. Because he has to. It doesn’t matter if it’s January first or not. When you have a dream like ours, you work all year. Or for years. Whatever it takes.

I’ve been there on the days he’s read agents’ emails asking for fulls, and when he’s gotten their rejection emails, just as he’s been there for all of mine. Through it all, we keep encouraging each other, knowing that the next agents we query just might be the ones that love our stories. It’ll happen, we tell each other. IT WILL.

So maybe what I’m saying here, the whole point of this post, isn’t to talk about resolutions. Maybe it’s to say that on December thirty-first, January first, or any other arbitrary day, what’s better than a resolution is a renewal of hope, to know that right around the corner could be the manuscript, the agent, the day my critique partner or I take that next step toward achieving our dreams. And that’s why we keep going.

What This Writer Dreams

My friends and family, along with anyone who’ll listen on Facebook and Twitter, know that I dream of finding an agent and becoming a published author. I dream of walking into a bookstore one day and seeing my book on a young adult shelf, a gorgeous hardcover, a small stack just waiting for readers.

That’s when I’m awake. Then there are the nights where I dream of getting an email from an agent that’s had my full manuscript for a few weeks. It’s not a rejection email (though I’ve gotten some of those), but one that says something like Can we chat? I’ve read enough success stories to know that how it starts, how the dream begins to really come true.

Dreams like that are rare, small reminders that there’s always hope.

Then there are the days where I’m stuck on something in my current work in progress. I reach a point in the plot where I know what I want to happen two steps from now, but I’m not sure how to get from here to there. Or I’m caught on a character’s decision, knowing that whichever way the character decides to go, it’ll shape the rest of the story. Or sometimes, it’s even just one word that trips me up.

And then my mind goes to work. I often figure out what I need sometime during the day, most often while driving to or from my day job. But sometimes that’s not enough and my subconscious takes over.

Based on what most people say about their dreams, I think mine are unusual. Unlike most people, I don’t dream about people, places, or things I know; my dreams are often vivid enough that I remember them in the morning, but I can’t ever peg any setting or person as something or someone I’ve encountered while awake.

For example, if my dream takes place in a library, it’s not the one in downtown Cincinnati, the one from my university, or even the local branch that I went to when I was in elementary school. It’s something more along the lines of the British Museum Reading Room plus my favorite local bookstore, Joseph-Beth Booksellers in Rookwood, but with the feel of the high school library from Buffy the Vampire Slayer:

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Furthering the example, the people in my dream’s library are never characters from my WIP or people I know/knew. Usually they’re partly my characters, partly from whatever novel I’m reading, and partly from who-knows-where. And of course they’re not doing normal library things, either; they’re playing hopscotch, cooking an elaborate meal, or roasting marshmallows over a bonfire.

All this is to say that my dreams are pretty imaginative. Sometimes they help me out with my WIP writing problem, and sometimes they don’t…at least not directly. But I write down what I remember, tweak the details, and put what I can into other stories. Do other writers have dreams like mine, where nothing and no one is familiar from their waking lives, where they can use pieces in their writing? I don’t know, but I hope so. And I hope that someday something I’ve dreamt while asleep helps me achieve my waking dream of being a published author.

Gone Rogue

In the last week or so, a few friends have asked what’s up with my blog. You haven’t written anything in a while, they’ve said. It’s like they think I’ve gone rogue or dropped out of the writing thing, given up on my dream of someday finding an agent and publishing a book.

No worries, friends. I haven’t given up. Not by a long shot.

In actuality, I’m not trying to be stealthy or give off the impression that I’ve tossed in the towel. Things are just super quiet on the writing front these days. I’m not entering any contests right now and my critique partners are in about the same place I am. I’m querying and writing, querying and writing, querying and writing.

While I could write a post about querying, give you an update on my query stats (like how, on the flip side, some agents do), I’m better at talking about those things after the fact. And I don’t want to jinx anything. I send out queries and cross my fingers and toes, dimming the lights and looking away from the computer like I can pretend I’m not putting myself and my manuscript out there. When my email pings with responses, they’re sometimes days, sometimes weeks later, at which point I like to think I’ve dulled my sensitive side to whatever the response might be. That’s not always the case.

Still, when I read the emails, I scan for important words. Is the email addressed to me or to Dear Author? Does the first sentence contain the word but? As in, thank you for submitting to me, but I’m not interested? Or does the word love appear? As in, I’d love to read more? Within the first second I usually know what kind of response I’ve gotten. And as I file that email in the appropriate folder, I also file away the knowledge the email contains.

And then I go back to writing.

It’s funny how writing works. Some manuscripts, like THE BUTTERFLY GHOST, are so easy to write that you can’t wait to get home at the end of the work day and dedicate your next couple of hours to 1-2K words. And then there are others, like my current work in progress, that take a little more effort, a little more thought. I’m a pantser, meaning I don’t outline heavily before I start writing. For THE BUTTERFLY GHOST, that worked to my advantage. For my WIP, not so much. But I’m pushing through. I might not get my writing goal every day, but I do what I can.

With the WIP words so hard to find, the creative part of my brain is pretty much exhausted by the time I’m through there. That means I’m not up for a blog post, which contributes to my blog silence. But don’t worry. Like I said, I haven’t given up and I’m not going to. My blog posts may be less frequent, but when I’ve got something to say, I’ll post it here. 

Revenge Querying

An author friend once told me that when she was querying her YA manuscript, for every rejection she received, she sent out two more queries. She called this revenge querying. And it must have worked (or something must have worked) because you could walk into almost any bookstore today and pick up her book.

The theory behind her revenge querying is sound. Rejections hurt, even when you’ve been querying for so long that you’ve lost count of how many you’ve gotten; but if you remind yourself that it’s just another no (and that, really, all you need is ONE YES), you get back out there and try again. And again. And again and again.

So I’m taking my author friend’s revenge querying to a new level.

Last week, I entered Michelle Hauck’s Nightmare on Query Street contest. I didn’t get in, but it didn’t upset me like it used to (way back a year ago or so). For one thing, I think I have contest fatigue. There are only so many you can enter before you realize you have great contest luck (like one of my critique partners) or you’re better off querying (me). There’s also the realization that getting into a contest doesn’t mean you’ll get an agent. Contests are just a way to stand out from the rest of an agent’s slush pile, which in the end might mean nothing.

Still, the NoQS contest wasn’t a complete wash. Because (back to the whole revenge querying thing) I do have a little resentment, a little rejection anger, and I’m putting it to good use. I’m going to take the list of Nightmare on Query Street agents and I’m going to query them. All of them. Well, okay, not the ones that don’t fit my category and genre, but as many as I can. For the rest, I’ll look into the other agents in their agencies and find the ones that fit my manuscript. I’ll query them.

It may take me some time to get through all those NoQS agents, especially since I’m going to also apply revenge querying to Brenda Drake’s Pitch Wars agents. (Yeah, I didn’t get into that contest either, but I was so close according to one of my mentors. See this.) I think I’ll feel just a little bit of satisfaction when I have success (partial or full requests) with any agents that participated in those contests.

My author friend said revenge querying works and I believe her. It hasn’t gotten me an agent yet, but I’m hopeful. Always hopeful.

All the Authors & Autographs

As a reader AND a writer, I have a special interest in talking to authors. I don’t just want to fangirl and tell them how much I loved their books; I want to say why. I want to tell them what specifically made it great. This scene, that line, this plot point, that character. These are things I think I pay more attention to than the average reader. Because of that, I want a conversation, an exchange of ideas, all in the hopes that I will become a better writer because of it.

This past weekend at Books by the Banks and yesterday at the Fort Thomas Branch of the Campbell County Library, I met eleven authors for the first time. I chatted so much with them, and four others that I had met before, that my friends ditched me at least three times. And I got fifteen books autographed. Yes. Fifteen. (I’ll list the authors and titles at the bottom of this post.)

From Books by the Banks:

 From the library:

 As much as I love the autographs (and believe me, I DO), it’s also about the conversations. Every author was not just willing, but also happy to talk to me. They wanted to hear my experiences, I wanted to hear theirs. An exchange of information, new friends made. I complimented their writing choices (the very end of CONVERSION, the who-dun-it in MY LAST KISS, the humor in THE VIGILANTE POETS OF SELWYN ACADEMY, the death of that one character in NOT A DROP TO DRINK, the intricate plot of MAID OF SECRETS). They told me about their agents and publishers, information I tucked away for the right day. 

Because someday, I want to be one of those authors. I don’t just want an agent and a published book. I want to sit behind a table, my book propped up in front of me, and talk to readers (teens or otherwise). I want to pay it forward, help new writers the way all these authors have helped me.

And I want to say thank you, a million thanks, hoping that they understand just how much I mean it.

Autographed books from Books by the Banks:

GIRL ON A WIRE by Gwenda Bond

THE VIGILANTE POETS OF SELWYN ACADEMY by Kate Hattemer

CONVERSION by Katherine Howe

HIDER SEEKER SECRET KEEPER by Elizabeth Kiem

OPEN ROAD SUMMER by Emery Lord

WILD by Alex Mallory

NOT A DROP TO DRINK and IN A HANDFUL OF DUST by Mindy McGinnis

MAID OF SECRETS and MAID OF DECEPTION by Jennifer McGowan

THE LAST KISS by Bethany Neal

Autographed books from the library:

PRETTY GIRL 13 by Liz Coley

CAIN’S BLOOD and PROJECT CAIN by Geoffrey Girard

RIVAL by Sara Bennett Wealer

Books by the Banks

This Saturday at the Duke Energy Convention Center in downtown Cincinnati is Books by the Banks, a free book festival.

Though I’ve lived in Cincinnati since 2006, this will be the first time I’m attending. I blame this on three things. 

First, for most of my time in Cincinnati, I was too focused on other things besides writing (like settling in, starting my science career, making friends, finding and dating and marrying my husband). Not that I haven’t always been an avid reader, because my mounds of books prove otherwise. 

Second, I didn't know the festival existed until a couple of years ago. And I even lived downtown for three years. Crazy, right?

Third, I never had anyone to go with. Not that this should have stopped me, but I was intimidated by the enormity of the festival. I’m an introvert. I’m a book nerd, not a social butterfly.

Things have changed. It’s been about fourteen months since I decided to seriously pursue a writing career and something like this book festival is a great networking opportunity. Plus, I know about a half dozen of the YA authors who are going to be there. 

And then there’s ALL THE BOOKS. Need I say more?

Fight Club

There’s this movie called Fight Club. I saw it once, back in college maybe, and I don’t remember much about it aside from the poster

and the fact that Brad Pitt and Edward Norton star in it (which, yeah, I think I know just because of the poster). What’s the plot? What is Fight Club? Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know that you aren’t supposed to talk about Fight Club. (Aunt V and Uncle J would be proud of me for at least knowing that.) Why can’t you talk about it? Again, no idea.

Recently, an author friend invited me to join a group of writers that reminds me a little of Fight Club. First off, the group is specifically labeled secret. Second, its membership is limited and by invite only. I accepted the author friend’s invite, not sure what to expect.

What I found was overwhelming. I scrolled through the list of members, noticing over and over again that I have books by many of these authors. One of my favorite authors ever is one of the group’s moderators. Right there, I was sure I didn’t belong in the group. I almost sent a message to my author friend to ask if she’d made a mistake.

But the more time I spent reading posts, the more I realized I’m as much a part of this group as the well-known authors. Alongside all the authors, there are other writers like me who are deep in the query trenches. We query trench writers can ask advice from the others, knowing that they’ve been there before and have the answers we need. I love it.

I don’t comment on most posts because published authors are asking the questions. I have so little experience, but I’m learning what it’s like to be on the other side, the agented side, the side where they’ve published books (plural!) and know how the whole industry works. Part of me is jealous, wondering if I’ll always be stuck on this side, where the trenches are. But most of me is so grateful my author friend invited me along so I can read, learn, and get to know so many authors and what author life is like.

I wish I could say more, but like I said, I’m pretty sure this group is a Fight Club for writers. And you’re not supposed to talk about Fight Club.