Hence the Awkward

You might be wondering why this social media thing isn’t easy for me. It’s because it doesn’t come naturally. Naturally, I’d rather hide my nose in my book or duck behind my (internet disabled) computer. I’m not very outgoing. I’d even go so far as to call myself a little socially awkward. I’m better about it now, I hope, but when in school, I was much happier on my own with stacks of paperbacks.

This shyness is part of why I struggle to find friends, followers, etc. on all these social media sites. I’m not quick to seek out others, although Twitter has helped with this. Why has Twitter helped? Well, the awesome thing about Twitter is that you don’t have to actually know anyone. Twitter doesn’t require any face-to-face contact, which is excellent for me. You can follow someone without them feeling obligated to follow back. They also let you follow them even if they don’t know you. It’s kinda the point.

However, others aren’t quick to seek me out, either. That’s partly because they’ve never heard of me. I don’t have publishing experience to draw any of them in. I have no credentials (aside from a short story published in my university’s literary magazine and a BA in English). Honestly, if I were them, I wouldn’t seek me out. Don’t worry, though. I’ve got this. Well, sort of. I’m working on getting my name out there. (Hence this blog thing.)

Outside of the whole writing/publishing community, people don’t seek me out, either. I prefer to blend into a crowd as opposed to stand out. I’ve always had a few close friends, but never a large group of acquaintances. Parties and bar scenes make me nervous. When I get nervous, I tend to use bigger/more formal words that I learned from a childhood of reading classics and adult fiction. (Which isn’t to imply I don’t use such words in my everyday conversation, because I do.) For example, see the hence in the previous paragraph. I use hence often. I like hence.

My social awkwardness is probably partly why I’ve always liked to read and write. Minimal contact with others was pretty much a given with reading and writing…up until I decided I wanted to be published. Really, really wanted to be published. I’ve been writing for so long and I’d like to share. So I’m doing things like writing this blog. I’ve joined Twitter. Most importantly, I’m sending out queries. And more queries. And more queries. The socially awkward me would give up quickly, what with these rejections that just keep coming in, but I’m determined. I’ll make a fool of myself, if that’s what it takes. (Although, please, don’t let that be what it takes.) I will stick with this, awkward or not.